9 responses to “Your Partner Wants to Submit to You: Now What?”

  1. Master Damien

    So, Master Ryder, I have a question. it is clearly obvious that you are a poly man, much like me. My wife is not into kink,but my new partner/gf is. She has never served of this nature, and I’ve always had slaves, not subs. I am wondering, since it’s been awhile for me, how does one come up with continual training so that we do not run out of ideas for them to be trained in? I was informed that we could have them read new things and write essays on them, or go back to old training again. She is married and her hubby is also a sub, too, just to let you know more info on that. I know we have loads of time ahead of ourselves, but I just want to ensure that this lasts as long as my relationship with her lasts.
    Master Damien

  2. J

    I am new to being dominant in a relationship, my new girlfriend is a long time submissive. I’m sort of stuck at the starting line here, and she is growing impatient. I have no problem with her kinks, but I am unsure of how to grow our relationship. We have been dating a couple months, and I am very enthused by the idea of being her dom, and taking care of her needs, but I’m not sure how to start things up, and what questions I need to be asking her, given the fact that she is so experienced, and I, well, not so much.

  3. Angel.

    My boyfriend recently told me that he wants to submit to me. I’ve tried reaching out to him finding out what he enjoys about being submissive but I feel that he is being really shy about the question and doesnt really say much other than I would he the perfect mistress for him. Ive been doing so much research asking so many questions but he really isn’t helping me. I’ve also asked him if he was willing to try switching or being in a non monogamous realtionship and he rejected both ideas. I am into the idea of trying to be his mistress but I’m still trying to find my kinks and fantasies. I have no idea where to go from here his shyness isnt helping. I also I feel that I’m not confident enough to even be dominant. I really love this man and I want to make it work.

  4. SP

    Recently my girlfriend has wanted me to be her master. Thats good and all, however I am more into rope play. I am not really into doms and subs. I just like wrapping someone in chords and getting it to look just right.
    I have asked her what she wants and expects from me as well what she enjoys and the like so I can better be there for her as a master.
    IDK, I feel like the scene from zoolander where derek is told about the difference between hand models and models. How they are wired differently.
    When I make a design I want to turn into reality, it will take me weeks of designs as well as how much rope and the types I want to use or which would look appeasing on the person I am binding.
    The whole thing is a little daunting and Its not my thing. But this article helped me find the mirror I was looking for. Just gotta take it one day at a time is all and find out what I am good at and what I need to work on to fulfill her desires.

  5. Ryder

    @Angel, So it sounds like you are new to the ideas of kink, SM, and Dom/sub. Is he new as well? He may not be able to answer because he may not know the answers himself. A good place to start would be to get a BDSM checklist (google it) and print off 2 copies. Each take 1 and go through it separately. Rank each activity. You can be sitting next to each other but each fill out your own. If you come across something and don’t know what it is google it. If you put “in BDSM” as part of your search text you should have no problem finding descriptions of everything. Then sit down together and compare your rankings. It is likely that there will be at least a couple things on the list that you both rank highly. That should give you a good place to start…

  6. Ryder

    @SP It sounds like you are on your way. Just because it isn’t currently your thing doesn’t mean it can’t become one of your things. Good luck to you!

  7. Michael Greystoke

    Dear Master Ryder,

    I’ve been into BDSM for some time but never had the opportunity to explore it. I’ve had one girlfriend but we never became physical because we weren’t interested in each other in that way. As such I am still a virgin.
    I’ve been in contact with an old college friend for almost a year and we’ve shared our ideas, and we’re both into BDSM. I’m creative so I’ve written her stories and she loves them, ans we’ve decided to explore our kinks later this year.
    I have a few plans in mind for that night. Is we are still interested in sex I intend to use some light bondage to set the mood. If she truly wants to submit I have more plans for how to explore our interests. I plan to keep researching (and join FetLife to se what they say) but I wanted to know if you have any recommendations specifically for me.

    Thank you for sharing with this community. Please respond at your convenience,


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