3 responses to “The Thinking Dominant #1 – Love”

  1. Morgan

    What a great topic. I think, like any kind of relationship, there are different types of love in D/s relationship. The chemistry between any two people is going to be unique to that relationship. I’ve had the experience now of having a submissive that I cared for, even loved in a way, and was deeply committed to, but not in love with in a romantic sense. We would not have been in an intimate relationship without the the D/s- that was the basis for our bond.

    I don’t know that submissives fall in love faster than Dominants. It was the case with the relationship I describe above. In the other D/s relationship I’ve had, it was a romantic relationship first and we were trying out some D/s stuff on top of that. It was probably a case of me falling in love faster, but for the most part, we were pretty much at an equal pace. So, is there a general pattern for submissives to fall in love fast or faster? I’m curious to hear what others have seen and experienced.

    In my opinion, a committed relationship that has romantic love as the basis and a D/s dynamic as well, has so far been the richest experience I’ve had of both D/s and romantic love in general. There are all kinds and levels of “falling in love”, and the combo of both was very intense for me.

    How many people are only interested in D/s relationships with people they’re in love with and in a long term committed relationship with? Does anyone reading this have experience with a long term, committed D/s relationship that isn’t sexual or romantic?

  2. Ashley

    In my experience, love in my M/s relationship has felt much stronger than any love I’ve felt in past vanilla relationships. When thinking about it, I attributed the deeper connection to the amount of communication that needs to happen when entering into a D/s or M/s relationship. It’s necessary for both parties to open up about their feelings, both sexual and general, in order for the “lifestyle” to be possible. While communication is key to any relationship, the topics that are discussed might seem taboo to a couple in a vanilla relationship. I believe there is a lot more room for sexual expression in D/s, as that’s what dynamic revolves around; this almost forces people to open up about personal things, making the connection between D & s or M & s a deeper one, in my opinion.

    I don’t know if Doms and subs/Masters and slaves love differently, though — the intensity of love might differ? It’s very subjective. In my own M/s relationship, there hasn’t been any talk of love as of yet, though we’ve been “together” for 8 months. I’d say we have the same amount of interest in each other, and that neither is more committed or interested than the other. With that being said, I love my Master with all my heart and would do anything for him, and through his actions, I can see that he would do anything for me (within the boundaries of M/s).

    Love can definitely vary, in any relationship. You can love a friend, but that love is obviously going to be different than loving your mother or your Dom/Master. It’s one word that covers a lot of ground. What is important in a sexual relationship is to distinguish between the different kinds of love that are being felt so that no one gets hurt.

  3. Claire

    Very interesting! Yes all the various degrees of love. And the courage to open your heart to it.

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