4 responses to “The Myth of Topping From Below”

  1. NewButLearning

    I would like to offer a phrase here that may help explain the difference between so-called “Topping-From-The-Bottom” and a submissive/slave/bottom/pet requesting the things they need as an individual. The phrase would be “Masochist”. Not everyone is ready for or even desires to loose all control, or even a part of it, but sometimes people just honestly want to be beaten a certain way. This is relatively easy to identify with for many with kink, I believe, but it isn’t quite the same kink as being a submissive. Perhaps someone out there will identify clearly with this, and recognise that they might be looking for the wrong thing in their relationships, choosing Dominants/Masters/Tops when they really just need a Sadist with a good sense of self control and a penchant for paddles.

  2. Morgan

    Good point. It seems to me that it’s pretty common when people are new, they call themselves “submissive” as a catchall phrase for “bottoming”, “masochist”, “slave”, whatever… it’s a misunderstanding and distinctions like the one you’re making is important. Thanks for contributing to the discussion!


  3. A little

    Apologies for necroposting…

    I have been repeatedly accused of this act when I’ve had to use my safe word (panic attacks, PTSD flashbacks, etc) & was told safe wording is topping from the bottom and was always left without aftercare if I used a safe word.

  4. lunaKM

    A safe word is NOT topping from the bottom. It’s a tool to notify the Dominant that you are at a limit (they don’t know everything). If someone won’t play with a safeword then they could potentially be unsafe to play with. I’m sorry you’ve had negative experiences. 🙁

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