When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

4 responses to “Ask Anything: Can a Master Lock a Submissive Away?”

  1. Jerry

    Want to be a slave to a dominant female

  2. Kenny Wiebe

    I do not have a website. I am still very new to the BDSM lifestyle. That said I don’t know if others have the types of concerns and fears about living this lifestyle that I do. I do realize not everything on the internet is real, but, I look at almost any tumblr site and it terrifies me what a Dominant can do to a submissive. More than that what a Master can do to a slave. I then read BDSM information sites where, at least I presume, the people posting the website should know what they are talking about. One that I was reading about just today was a contract for a M/s relationship, where the author writes that upon entering the M/s relationship, the slave must give all their worldly possessions to the Master, not for the Master to protect, but to keep even if the slave eventually decides to terminate the contract, the Master keeps all of the slaves worldly possessions. Then I read sites where the Master has every rite to isolating the slave from anyone the Master does not like. Other things that bother me are the issue of Cash Master/slave relationships. I then read about one Master or Dominant is advertising for naked slaves to serve him and his friends, where he clearly states the slave has 0% privacy or rights, then he goes on to say that if the slave leaves his contract or position, the slave walks away with out anything, including his clothes, that he has destroyed. Another site I was reading was where the Master/Dominant states outright if the slave has any medical issues, it is not the doctor that gets to decide what medications the slave is put on. All of these issues totally look like the Real Life of Slavery, that we hope does not exist in the real world. This is just a beginning of questions that I have, and I would really appreciate it if you would be able to let me know of sites that I can go to that do tell the truth, without implications of life or death relationships.

  3. Rev

    Hi Kenny,

    It’s good that you’re aware that not everything online is actually “real”. Even the sites that appear to be aren’t always. In truth, anyone can advertise or ask for/create a contract for anything they want, but that doesn’t always mean they’re going to get it. It does happen, but it also happens that Dominants/Masters put out a call for super intense degrees of surrender like that and just don’t get any takers.

    There are some people who like to work with cash and property ownership. It’s not my thing and I don’t personally know too many people who’ve done that successfully. But it does happen.

    There are also some submissives/slaves who are looking for that kind of depth in their power exchange relationship. I would hope that anyone who’s considering a relationship like that takes a lot of time to get to know the person they’re thinking about getting involved with and checks them out thoroughly. When it comes to any sort of extreme power exchange (like cash or medical control), I would always recommend a long time getting to know someone, establishing trust and not letting oneself be pressured. The potential for abuse and harm is bigger, the more the surrender asked for and given.

    It’s entirely possible and more common to have Ds relationships that don’t involve that depth of power exchange. If it’s not your thing, don’t do it. Keep in mind that people who do engage in it are consenting to it. We use words like “Master and slave”, but those are just symbols for a kind of energy. People must consent on both sides of the relationship or it’s not BDSM- if there’s not consent, it’s abuse and it’s illegal. A submissive must agree to those terms and can change their mind at any time. So it’s not *actually* slavery. Some people like to get as close as they can to that kind of total power exchange, but it must be a consensual exchange or again. it’s abuse and it’s illegal- which is not BDSM.

    Check out some posts on consensual slavery and total power exchange. It might help to understand it, but remember- it still doesn’t have to be something you ever want to try for yourself.

    For what it’s worth.

    Rev

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