Master Ryder is a Dominant and sadist who lives 24/7 TPE M/s with his wife and slave. Ryder is of the belief that being a Master is more about mastering your own self before you can go on and effectively lead others, and spends his time working to always improve his personal character. An active member of his local community, Ryder enjoys sharing with others about his experience living life as a Dominant. He is a practitioner of edgier play, including fire, knives, CNC, and breath play, but the main focus of his studies and practice is in Power Exchange. "It's about the dynamic, the energy shared when one person gives up all control and another person takes it."

7 responses to “Punishment versus “Funishment””

  1. Claire Celeste

    I enjoyed reading this. I’m a fairly inexperienced Mistress to a full time slave of mine and I have been researching up on how I can improve myself in my…. “duties” hehe. For the most part i’v been going off of mostly instinct and apparently a natural talent for being a Mistress…. though….. i’v always had trouble being consistent in all walks of my life… so it’s been a challenge to punish her when she needs it. So it’s nice to see articles like this to broaden my understanding and ideas, though working on my consistency is something i’ll have to battle with for a long time to come.

  2. fondles

    We don’t do punishment but funishment is always a good way to get us going. We do however have other types of spankings, re-centering, focusing, maintenance. This was such a great post!

  3. Iggy Born

    I have an issue with this. I am a slave/sub and I enjoy being actually punished… the OTK idea isn’t my idea of “funishment.” I, of course, don’t want to have any issues with my Dom, with not knowing what is punishment and what is funishment, so what do you suggest we do?

  4. Ryder

    @Iggy Born Do you enjoy being actually punished (Dom is truly upset with you for misbehaving and then punishes you to teach a lesson) or do you enjoy what is currently being done as “punishment” (Sadomasochism play, in your example OTK)?

    Many people think of spankings or floggings as a punishment because corporal punishment is what was often done to punish us as kids. What we aren’t taking into consideration is that many submissives like spankings, so you end up actually rewarding bad behavior inadvertently.

    If this is the case, I would recommend coming up with new non-play related punishments for actual indiscretions. I try very hard to come up with a punishment to fit the crime. For example, I told my girl I was out of shaving cream and that she needed to pick some up the next time she was at the store. She went to the store that day and forgot shaving cream. That night I asked if she got it while she was there and she apologized and said she forgot. No big deal I shave every other day so get it tomorrow please. The next day she went to the store again and forgot it again. That night I got home and still no shaving cream. She apologized again and asked if I would like her to go out immediately and get it. I said yes but made her do the shopping in atypically sexy (slutty) clothes. She dislikes humiliation and that was very humiliating to her. I explained this was her punishment and once she completed her task all would be forgiven. I can’t remember the last time she forgot something I asked her to get.

    Think of it this way. If a child misbehaved and needed punishing, would you give them a sucker? Nope. Same with a submissive and spankings.

    It sounds like you may simply be referencing SM play, or an SM scene, as punishment. Getting together and one person taking a flogging/paddling/whipping isn’t punishment. That is play related. This is dynamic related.

    And you don’t have to have a punishment dynamic. Whatever works for you and your partner.

  5. noe

    Good evening A/all. this girl enjoyed reading this article so thank you sir Ryder. she also read the comment coming from Iggy Born.. The question that came in her mind was; do you (Iggy) like punishment or pain that is being inflicted by your dominant? Because this girl’s opinion would say it probably means you’re a massochist and enjoy pain itself (because of your own unique reasons). Pain is not always meant to be or taken as a punishment, and a punishment doesn’t have to include pain (as stated by sir Ryder also). Would you enjoy writing lines as punishment as much as you would enjoy a spanking?
    -noe

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