Lion has been active in the leather community for over 25 years. He served as safety director for TES (Eulenspeigel Society) in New York. He was also a director. He has presented workshops across the US on various dominant technique topics. Currently, he resides in the Pacific Northwest. He enjoys writing, learning new things and meeting new people.

One response to “The Impracticality of Endless Rules and When To Say Goodbye”

  1. YesDaddySir

    I think you identify a real issue, and point out the pitfalls that can await the unexpecting Dom. However, I also think that there is much more that the Dom can do to proactively avoid the problem while still strongly asserting their dominance.

    But first let me say that some Doms like and want to micromanage their subs. If you are both happy doing this, then more power to you.

    But I’m with the author on this one, I do not want to micromanage my sub. The important thing is to remember that you are Dom, if you are going to say yes to every little thing the sub wants, you are not doing your job. You decide what rules to have and what not to have as well as what and when the punishments are. And even after you put a rule in place you can still change it if it isn’t working for you.

    When your sub suggests a new rule or protocol, tell the sub you will think about it. You might say no. If you do say yes, you’ll probably want to alter or institute it such a way that catching and reporting failures is the responsibility of the sub, not you (you will still have to spot check your sub). You can impose triple punishment for unreported failures that you end up catching, to encourage prompt honesty.

    So, let’s say that your sub is supposed to report to you every hour (via text message) what he/she has been doing for the past hour, and failure to do so carries a punishment of three swats on the body part of the Dom’s choosing with an implement of the Dom’s choosing (for each infraction). This is definitely micromanaging, and if you left it there would be a serious time drain on the Dom to keep track.

    But instead, it should be the sub’s responsibility to keep track of the count of infractions of this rule and report them each day to the Dom. The Dom might add them up for a weekly, regularly scheduled absolution-spanking. Remember to keep erotic spankings distinctly different from punishment spankings, and remember to spot-check your sub for honesty.

    The bottom line is to be creative about how you implement new rules to keep yourself in control and away from being overwhelmed.

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