Lion has been active in the leather community for over 25 years. He served as safety director for TES (Eulenspeigel Society) in New York. He was also a director. He has presented workshops across the US on various dominant technique topics. Currently, he resides in the Pacific Northwest. He enjoys writing, learning new things and meeting new people.

6 responses to “From Online To Real Life”

  1. Anna

    This is very true and well put. Sounds like a wonderful time, and I am very envious of anyone who has a Dom, and is taking this advice. So many times real life doesn’t meet expectation because the man rushes in and gets way ahead of himself, and the comfort of the woman, in D/s or vanilla dates. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt a connection and then had it shattered by being pressured into submitting. Then my inner badass rears its head and things get heated. Not all submissive women are pushovers, willing to just let whatever you desire to happen, happen. Sometimes they will and then never see you again, or sometimes they will call a friend to get them, or just disappear. Sometimes they carry a survival knive with a 12″ blade in their giant purse and aren’t afraid to use them. It is always the Dominant person’s role to put the other at ease first and allow enough time to arouse and tantalize before you make a move. Hint: if a woman Is upright and stiff, she hasn’t begun to fantisize about anything further than the meal and getting out of there. Take it slowly! Read her verbal and nonverbal clues.

  2. Serelliya

    This is a reasonable and practical guide to the online-IRL transition, but I wish it were written from a less heteronormative perspective. As a female Domme, for instance, it doesn’t really make sense to adopt traditional male “chivalric” practices during the first date, regardless of whether the submissive partner is male or female.

  3. Anna

    Serelliya, perhaps you’d like to write one yourself, they take submissions. We can’t always write about what we don’t know. Though I’ll say I’d like a female Domme to act this way as well.

  4. Dee

    Hello All,

    I am a female Domme. I loved the article and all the responses. Thank you for your openness. When I am out with a man, any man straight or potential sub. I expect chivalry. I am a lady. Regardless of our titles we are to be treated with dignity and respect. How else to better judge ones manners and level of respect? Ok, enough of that. If you have made it this far, thank you for reading.

    At this time I am in somewhat of an online relationship with a male sub. We are expecting to meet in a few weeks. I have been hesitant about meeting since I am unsure of the transition. The first initial meeting does not bother me. If we still have that connection and end up together that night is what has the hell scared out of me. My first reaction is to fall into my comfort zone of domination. I could only imagine what I would think if someone tried to do that to me. I think Lion has laid it out very well for both sides. “Let her take the lead in her own submission” makes so much sense. Thank you Lion, your article has put a few of my fears at ease.

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