J. Blank, aka The Dominant Gentleman, strongly believes that being Dominant doesn't preclude one from also behaving as a Gentleman (or Lady), and that respect is paramount in any relationship, especially D/s relationships. A "real world" relationship and life coach with a kink-friendly practice, J. spends his days helping people figure out what they really want, and take steps to achieve it. Which gives him some unique insights into the amazing world that is the human psyche. Because of this, J. believes Doms have a nigh-sacred responsibility to their subs, and can sometimes be found on Twitter (@Jason_Blank), loudly ranting about the difference between a Dom and, as he puts it, "a jackass with ego issues." He can be reached by email at DomJBlank (at) gmail (dot) com.

One response to “Ask Anything – My Vanilla Partner Showed Interest! Now What?”

  1. Brooks

    Hello, I new to the idea of kink and the D/s relationship. I have been talking to a woman who is familiar with D/s and has told me that she needs a Dom. Now I’ve always lived a vanilla lifestyle, not really exploring anything else. I have spoken to her on several occasions about the subject trying to figure out her likes and dislikes. I’m the type of guy that wants to take care of her needs, which from what I have read, whether or its true or false I’m not sure, is a part of being a Dom. Well during a recent conversation with her I expressed my desire to fulfill that role for her. She proceeds to tell me that based on my personality, she can’t see me fulfilling that role, but won’t into specifics. What do I do? Do I open a line of conversation to see why she feels this way, or do I just accept the fact that I’m not whom she wants to be her Dom and forget the idea? If I accept the fact, is it possible for me and her to have a personal, emotional, sexual relationship?
    At this point, I’m confused and sure what do next. I really care about this woman and want to meet all her needs, but if she’s not willing let me fulfill this part of her lifestyle, where do we go from here? Any and all feedback is welcome. I don’t want to lose her, but the idea of her possibly sleeping with another man is mind blowing. I understand that not all D/s relationships have to involve sex, but I know in the past with her old Dom it has.

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