When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

11 responses to “Giving Spanks: The Basics of Spanking”

  1. Fozzy

    Hi Rev!

    This is Fozzy here, from Dom Chat. I hope you still remember me and I just wanted to day that this is a great article. Hope you are doing well with classes and everything.

    Are you still hosting Dom Chat? I haven’t been out there for some time so I was wondering if you could tell me when the next chat is; every time I check I seem to be missing it.

    Would love to hear from you!

    Surely and sincerely,
    Fozzy

  2. lori_Sign

    I like to be be spanked hard. I mean something just goes stirs up through me to want and will myself to want it hard enough to until I am crying. I mean bawling and getting that carthatic release. So I like to be spanked until the agony is so much that you want to bite straight through the pillow and into your bottom lip. The thing is I have a very high pain tolerance. There is just something inside me that gets turned on by giving up control and get really a real blistering until I am sobbing. Last time my boyfriend paddle me the flat part of the handle of bamboo backsctratcher he got from the dollar store. It wasn’t thudy like a paddle but I mean it stung like all get out and it was light enough that he was able to really whale hard and fast for a really long time bare ass without bruising. I got welts all over but after a very long flurry set until I was hiccup crying, it was such a release and created bonding with him as I cried it all out. I am just weird I guess. Anyone one else likes really hard spankings like I do?

  3. MastersSocialClub

    I’m curious about where do Masters/Doms get new ideas for punishments?

    Is there any place where you can go and share ideas about punishments and experiences?

  4. lori_Sign

    I guess I’m not the only one who like real spankings. We both agreed once a discipline spanking earned its his show. I mean its just not worth going through if it isn’t going to make you cry hard. For me its the whole exhilaration and thrill of this power exchange that happens between us. The excitement and anticipation of prepare myself, pushing everything down myself. The feeling of trepidation of being over his lap bare ass as he is tapping it with that dam bamboo backscratcher of his (his discipline implement). For discipline paddling, we have some basic things established: No warm up (start off with an implement & hard right from the start), no protection (completely bare ass from waste to my knees), its nonstop (high pain tollerence) and last as long as he determines, no swat limit (that’s hard not know), may start off slow but ends like the title of his favorite movie (Fast & Furious) until he is done. I usually get two sets. One until I get right up to my pain threshold (takes quite a bit) and I do that spanking dance afterwards (stiffening straight up, clenching as tight as I can, pushing my hips forward, throwing my hands behind frantically rubbing my burning ass, while I hop up and down turning about). He really get turned on by watching me do that hop, don know why though. What is it about men who like to see that. After the first set, I can get my cloth up and he holds me until I calm down. After 10 minutes or so I get the second set, I have prepare myself and it begins and ends fast & furious until I’m a sobbing mess. I hate the actual discipline but the endorphin rush I get during the spanking and the cathartic release makes it with it. I respect him more too. Its just embarrassing doing that spanking hop. I wonder if I’m the only who does this post spanking dance or if I’m the only one whose boyfriend or husband almost insist on it. I do instinctively and on purpose because I know it turns him on and its part of my discipline is to do that spanking hop. Am I the only one who does that?

  5. Michael

    Punishment Spanking Succession Form

    Fill out and sign prior to meeting and must have proof that you are 18 years of age or older with ___________ and I am consenting to this of my own free will _____ (initials)

    The disciplinarian will comfort, hold and console the me after the punishment is over. I acknowledged that the disciplinarian will not in any way attempt to take advantage of, touch or try anything sexual towards me _____ (initials).

    This will be an absolute real punishment spanking secession.
    I _____________ (print full name) understand that all punishment spanking succession will consist of 3 separate spankings, strapped with something leather, a paddling with flat hard surface implement and a final corporal disciple spanking with a cane, tree switch or mini blind wand. I ___________ (print full name) understand and release my disciplinarian _____________ (print full name) from his responsibly for any and all marks, welts and bruises on my backside that will result from being spanked, from the top of my bottom below my tail bone to the middle of my thighs, during the punishment disciple secession. I accept that I will have welts, bruises and marks for days ________ (initials).
    All punishment spanking will have two elements: the corporal disciple spankings and an element of embarrassment.

    Corporal Disciple Spanking
    I understand and accept that I will have no safe word to stop the spankings, once the spankings starts ______ (initials).
    I understand and accept that there will be no warm up spanking with the hand, it will began hard, consecutively (intensity at the discretion of my disciplinarian) with a implement ________ (initials).
    I understand and accept that all spankings will be administered on the bare skin _________ (initials).
    I understand and accept that there will be no time limitation as to the length of each spanking, no matter how hard I am crying _________ (initials).
    I understand and accept that there will be no limitation to the number of swats I will receive in the spankings, no matter how hard I am crying ________ (initials).

    Element of Embarrassment

    You must choose at least three of the following, put a “X” in front of following sections.
    ___ completely bare from the waist to knees or ankles and shuffling across the room carrying implement with you.
    ___ completely naked for the entire secession.
    ___ intentionally do a post spanking dance performance for 30 seconds or more after each spanking (stiffening up, pushing hips pushed forwards, rubbing bare ass with both hands and hoping up and down).
    ___ standing in the corner (forehead against the wall) for 1 full hour before each spankings with next implement in both hands, fully clothed unless completely naked was selected.
    ___ suppository inserted all the way in as safely as possible just before the last spanking, unless enema is selected. Rubber glove will be used.
    ___ enema given after last spanking unless suppository is selected.
    ___ the spankings are to be watched by an unknown person.
    ___ Disciplinarian discretion.

    First Spanking: Strapping
    Strapping with something leather. Choose from the following. There is no minimum number of whacks and no maximum. Put a “X” in front of sections.
    ___ Western leather belt with imprints on it, nothing medal.
    ___ Thin office belt.
    ___ Belt of you bring.
    ___ Belt your choice from assorted collection.
    ___ Disciplinarian discretion.

    Position, choose 1 or more. Put a “X” in from of the selections.
    ___ Over the knee/lap.
    ___ Over the end of a couch.
    ___ Over the knee and end couch
    ___ Over the back of the couch.
    ___ Diaper: on your back, feet up straight
    ___ Disciplinarian discretion.
    ___ Other _____________

    Second Spanking: Paddling
    Paddled with a hard flat surface implement. All paddings with be over the knee or lap. The most lengthily of the 3 spanking. There is a minimum of 100 smacks with no maximum. Paddling will be very intense (hard and fast) from the very beginning until it stops. Choose from the following. Put an “X” on the selection.
    ___ Fraternity Paddle
    ___ Lexicon Paddle
    ___ Thin flat part of handle of a bamboo backscratcher.
    ___ Hairbrush
    ___ Bath brush
    ___ Bring your own implement
    ___ Disciplinarian discretion.

    The Third and Final Spanking
    The final spanking is with long thin round implement. There is no minimum and no maximum number of swats. It will start slow and end in a long flurry of rapid fire blows. Choose from the following. Put a “X” on the sections.
    ___ Mini blinding wand.
    ___ Cane
    ___ Tree Switch

    Restraints
    Unless requested to bind hands together for the last one, there will no restraints. Disciplinarian may hold arm and hand the middle of the back and scissor lock legs. The disciplinarian expects you to accept and expect it will be unbearable and take disciple willingly. If there is an excessive reaching, the disciplinarian has a responsibility to make it safe from hands being hit and bind them together at his discretion. There will be absolutely no restraining you in place.

    I ______________ (print name) willing on my own violation accept and agree to the terms laid out above and accept the proceeding punishment secession accordingly.

    Signatures
    Person being Disciplined
    ____________________
    Disciplinarian
    ____________________

  6. Jennifer

    Hi, I’ve been into spanking since I was in my teens but never got involved until my 20′s. I always had a safe word except for discipline spanking with my boyfriend. It is “Superman” three times in a row, but I never used it. I’m not sure if I’m the only one but I have such a extremely high pain tolerance that when we first started he would stop because of the condition of my backside before I ever used my safe word, even when it was suppose to be a discipline style. He would never get me to cry. He calls me “Supergirl” buns of steel.” He’d always used thick wooden implements or thick western belts. He is always afraid of going too far. He always felt bad about the bruises and welts he would leave but I expected it. He’s also always gave me slower types whacks too. I finally got him to not be afraid hit hard but I’d be bruised up to bad for him and he end up stopping before it even affected me. This went on for like a year and we were both frustrated because no matter how hard he whack it barely got a response from me. We talked and finally found something that worked during a discipline spanking. He switched me one time and that got me yelping a lot and even hop up and down. We discovered that it was what he was using and the way he was applying them. We learned that lighter and stingy implements were the trick. Also, my pain tolerance goes down with the brisk fast type swats and more lengthy. He was concerned at first because he felt he was wailing on me. It took a while for use to both get use to it. The implements now are switches (hate them), thin but durable ruler type paddles, curtain rods and thin leather office belts (hate them). For discipline spankings, he now knows exactly how make me cry. I have to have rapid fire swats from the beginning, very lengthy and no warm up. Am I the only one who has such a high pain tolerance that needs such extreme measure for it to be effective?

  7. Lori_Sign

    Jennifer, your not alone. I too have a high pain tolerance. You have him try a flat part of the handle of bamboo backsctratcher he got from the dollar store. Let him wail on your butt with that. Believe me it stings like nothing you will ever feel. It snacks both checks simultaneously, you don’t get numb to either, ever swat is like new. I’ve never had a switch and I’m not sure if I want too so other will have to address that one. But if you are really wanting that crying release, trust me the flat part of the handle of bamboo backsctratcher he got from the dollar store is the way too go. Us girl who have a high pain tolerance should stick together. Trying doing a post spanking hopping dance performance for him. I feel I’m the only one but he requires me to do. But it does psychology get to me and your mindset is half the battle.

  8. brad

    I get so turned on giving my girlfriend all kinds of spankings, from erotic to just because spanking and even real ones that make her loss her composure, cry and sob. I see it as a gift of submission she gives me. Fortunately, I have a girlfriend who likes it also. She actually turned me on to it and brought out the spanko in me. Is it wrong to admit that I enjoy it? I get so turned on as I watch take her pants down knowing that she has given me full permission to spank her or sometime give her a real one. I have conflicting emotions inside. I don’t like woman who are abused but I like spanking my girlfriend now. Its like is a psychological afrodeysic to me. I love the control aspect, its like asking me to discipline her is the ultimate sign of respect and I feel honored she choose me to have that authority. The actual spanking is exciting to me also. I mean when I turn her over my knee and it completely consensual I feel so stimulated by the whole experience. Seeing her beautiful bare bottom in front of me knowing she expecting me to spank her and sometimes until she is crying hysterically is huge rush. Is it wrong to feel good about having that authority and power she gave me. I also really get turned on when I start to spank her usually start out with my hand to start with. I am so stimulated when I see her clench up tight and I see all the muscular definition of her butt cheecks. It is electifying for me to hear her react and I feel compelled to smack harder and faster. To see her feet fluttering and her ass cheecks are turning red to bright red, its like I go into a trance in my mind. The longer the spanking goes on the more I get turned on and I am not sure if I should feel guilty of that or not? I have never seen her do the post spanking hop Lori described but I might bring that up to my Jill. I usually use my belt over my knee for discipline and I feel the powerful sense of power and authority as I began removing it and I feel extremely respected by Jill as she begins dropping her pants when I order her too. Is something wrong with me, that after experienced spanking someone that I discovered that I really like it myself?

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