J. Blank, aka The Dominant Gentleman, strongly believes that being Dominant doesn't preclude one from also behaving as a Gentleman (or Lady), and that respect is paramount in any relationship, especially D/s relationships. A "real world" relationship and life coach with a kink-friendly practice, J. spends his days helping people figure out what they really want, and take steps to achieve it. Which gives him some unique insights into the amazing world that is the human psyche. Because of this, J. believes Doms have a nigh-sacred responsibility to their subs, and can sometimes be found on Twitter (@Jason_Blank), loudly ranting about the difference between a Dom and, as he puts it, "a jackass with ego issues." He can be reached by email at DomJBlank (at) gmail (dot) com.

5 responses to ““What Are We Going To Do Today, Dom?” – Some Ideas to Keep A Dynamic… Dynamic”

  1. The Half-Hand

    You’ve given me welcome food for thought, Dominant Gentleman. With some of the bigger hurdles behind us, my fledgling 24/7 dynamic with my puppy has been struggling to overcome the doldrums of daily life. Transitioning from what began as occasional spice in the bedroom to an alternative lifestyle has been a bit like riding a rollercoaster while blindfolded. Although the foundation is in place, I’ve felt for awhile now we should begin creating regular rituals to build the walls, so to speak. Thank you for the inspiration!

  2. Misstress Liv

    Brilliant and useful article, thank you! My pet and I are separated by a long distance relationship, but this has given me inspiration and many ideas I can adapt for our online relationship, when we are separated. Are there other articles that directly address LDRs?

  3. mayday

    What about letting your sub come up with a scene or chore/task occasionally? Letting the sub in on the creative process can help ease the Dom’s burden a bit and help spawn fresh ideas. I know I personally have a mind full of devious ideas to test and stretch my limits that I want my Dom to do to me, but obviously don’t want to overstep my role in asking for or coming up with ideas.

  4. Serveur

    As my Mistress/wife and I are wanting to take our relationship up a level, she has asked me to come up with a list of things for us to discuss in order to set up our protocol. This article is very useful and I’m sure will provide us with lots of starting points.

  5. Just me

    I like the way you think. You have obviously had quite a bit of experience with bdam and have really paid attention to your fears and feelings.
    Something I’ve enjoyed a lot, being a sub, is something you discussed here with a bit of a twist. Consistency but with mixed confusion. Personally, my favorite play is the total confusion when it comes to rewards and punishment. One time I’m punished for mistakes, the next time I’m punished even more because I did everything right. I also love hearing promises such as “if you do a good job, I won’t send your pics to a certain place”. After I believe her she tells me it’s funny because she already sent the pics and I should thank her.
    I also find it super fun, for example, when I’m told to do something humiliating, even though if I do it, I will regret it. But I still do it just to obey her. She teases me endlessly for being so obedient.

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