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2 responses to “Meretricious Dom: The Rule of One and The Wall of Can’ts”

  1. Souma

    I don´t agree with this.
    Nobody is dominant in all aspects of their lives. Noone of us has control over everything. This scenario in itself belongs to the realms of fantasy. As social beings, to function properly and constructively in our everyday society, everyone needs the fundamental ability to switch status (-> to take on a dominant or submissive role) out of play. If people are not highly damaged and broken in their personality, they are perfectly able to do so, and will do so without question, whenever the need arises. Example: everytime you travel, you submit to the care of other persons to bring you safely to where you want to go. Even if you´re driving by car, you need to submit to the rules of traffic, which are NOT the rules that you´ve created all on your own.
    Every time you´re going to see the doctor- and yes, germs and illnesses are not too afraid by your menancing dominant aura to get to you- you´re going to submit or suffer the consequences. Every time you don´t agree with your boss at work or your clients at work- I think you get the idea. The image of the “perfect” dominant that controls every aspect of their everyday life is completely fictional. It´s a lie. Sure, there is a difference between people who know very well what they want and find opportuninies to do so, and people who are not sure what they want and find reasons to avoid responsibility. But that´s human. I don´t believe it´s desirable or even healthy to try and maintain a dominant status 24/7, to everyone and with everything, because it really cripples you and has nothing to do with empowerment: you can´t turn to anyone for advice, because as a dominant, it would lower your status. You can never joke or relax, because it lowers your status. You can´t make mistakes and admit them, trying to find other ways and solutions, because it ultimately lowers your status- you´re robbing yourself of your humanity, of your full range of possiblities, of your ability to connect and maintain a real, healthy, living and breathing relationship with another real human being. For me, that´s not being dominant at all, that´s being lonely, sad and delusional.

  2. FixBond

    First, thank you Mistress Steel for the article. I really enjoyed reading it, getting both: confirmed and examined in the way i live at the same time. I think its important to talk about the diffrence of someone who thinks hes dominant, or someone who truely is. As you told in your articel: the king doesnt need to state that he´s the king.
    I want to answer Souma´s critic. I think you wrote a good comment on this. I still have to disagree. You are right when you say being dominant doesnt mean to control every aspect of your life. But that was not meant in the Text above. A true dominant of course can seek advice and he can also make a stupid joke maybe filled with self-irony. But he can do so, because him being superior is so obvious to everyone that he doesnt need to act arrogant at all. It is weak when i say “i cant see you because someone is restricting me”. It is not weak when i say “i cant see you because i WANT to do this in order to reach THAT”
    In both cases you explain why you cant do something. But in the first way you give away the responsibillity to someone else and in the second way you take the responsibillity for your action. What defines the dominance of a dominant is the amount of responsibillities he can handle. Also, there is always a way. Maybe its not the one you first thought it is, but changing the way to achieve your goals, or even setting new goals isnt weak. What is weak, is to cry about not achieving something or blaming XY for you not reaching your goal.

    There are too many weak persons out there. And being strong is not defined by how cool you are or how you succeed, its how you can handle life without being a coward and blaming the world for what chances you missed.

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