When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

6 responses to “Compassion and Emotional Sadism”

  1. Graham

    Wow this is me all the way through. My partner and I have been playing in the scene for over a year. She now has asked me to be her Dom , she had one for 3 years. I start a session well, maybe restrain her hard then punish her for her faults that day . When released I hug her and look after her, perhaps make a drink and have a smoke just tobacco then I find it hard to start again and this is really messing her up , she wants me to continue to Dom all night. She then says I am just a spanker not a dom .
    We have such a great relationship normally but this is now developing cracks we don’t want do you have any more ideas please , she says she loves what I do but then feels let down

  2. Graham

    Well thank you for the quick response I didn’t expect it but pleased to receive your thoughts on my problem. I enjoy the scene tremendously we go to clubs and the owner always directs newbies single and couples my way to watch and learn and usually get to top one of them which I enjoy , I take care to explain what implements I will use and show them first tell them what to expect. That is a good part for me.
    I know when I play with partner she wont say sub yet till I learn more. We are not together 24/7 and both single ,she has young family so we see each other as and when. Her past Dom was 24/7 told her everything to do and she loved being naughty so to be punished. When we play she does everything I ask to the letter only recently has she started to ask for harder spanks etc. We do the punish side and lots of sensation and torment play she enjoys this as I do. I never get any nice thanks back I think I give her a good experience we have done many things she never experienced before and loves them will ask again for them. If we haven’t had sex in the scene it doesn’t bother me I enjoy giving her pleasure but when we go to bed she turns away and drops to sleep with me just cuddling her feeling left out big time. Sorry to ramble on but you have hit nail on head we need to sit and talk to find out what she wants so she can guide me more like moulding me to her needs.
    Thanks for your advice its much appreciated
    Graham

  3. Graham

    Thank you very much its so simple when someone helps to open the door so you can see the light at last. I have been researching on here but at times get digressed and have learnt a lot from the subs guide I started first with them to try and understand more
    Thank you very much, I may come back in the future to ask more
    Graham

  4. Hunter

    I have this submissive that wants to put this side of her away. I am a dominant have been for 2 years I put it away for awhile and now she wants to bring it back out. I have a problem tho I want her to be loving and compassionate as unconditionally, but I still want to be her master and not have her put it away cause I love it so much. Please explain this to me I NEED HELP

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