When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

4 responses to “The Idea of Submission as a Gift”

  1. auburnvalkyrie

    i don’t really like the term “submission is a gift” just like i don’t like the concept that the daughter is given away by the father to the husband during weddings. my body is not something to be “given away” and my mind is most assuredly not something i can just hand over. If i get cancer nobody but me gets to experience it. Others may have to deal with having to watch me perish or suffer the trials of fighting said cancer, but i still have to experience it first hand. Same goes for a blow to my trust or a sickness of my heart.

    My Dominant worked to establish trust. Endeavors to make sure i’m mentally and emotionally sound. He makes the effort and does the time, like taking me to the Doctor and addressing all those boring real life things. Submission is a hard earned reward, as is Dominance as it must be taylored to my individual needs and still fall into what He enjoys. Someone asked Him once what He gets out of being a Dominant vs just being a guy who likes kinky sex. He said he finds fulfillment enabling His subs to be the best they can be. He loves watching them overcome obstacles in life and become stronger people under His care. It is a lot of work and He deserves recognition for it. My submission was not something I just gave to Him. My devotion to Him was earned.

  2. Cheryl

    I have to agree with that. I really disliked that it is called a gift because for one thing it seems like I have something special going on but I can’t submit unless I have a Master that is capable of accepting my submission.

  3. Gentleman_Celt

    My only real disagreement with the idea is that a true gift is given with no expectation of reciprocation or reward. Those who have shared their submission with me have, rightly, expected that I will reciprocate with care, concern, guidance, and support.

    I realize that this is mostly a semantic thing but there are enough people who abuse the idea of Dominance that putting another weapon in their hands, to my mind, isn’t a good idea.

    To explain the “another weapon” idea… They already prey upon those learning the ropes using the right words and so on. It is easy enough to take the gift and offer nothing in return, it is a gift after all (abs they’ll tell their prey this repeatedly), and leave a severely wounded creature behind.

    Words are not just how we define our world the ideas behind them ARE our world and words are far too imperfect to be used lightly.

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