When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

21 responses to ““Topping From the Bottom”- A Phrase to Use With Care”

  1. Sir Works

    As a Dom over the course of several decades, I have dealt with my share of submissive women. Each and every one of them unique in their own ways. For the past week I have spent every moment with a new sub…
    Before spending this time together, we talked at great length about D’s relationships. We negotiated our play and having completed said negotiations, expectations etc, we engaged in an evening of “play. After hours of her being an extremely beautiful and naughty little brat things began. Within minutes of mere warming up for what had been agreed upon as some hard play, there was no use of any agreed safe word and she began bawling and said she just wanted to cuddle. Rather mind fucked myself, I thought that our being new partners and all that she was simply frightened. I backed off and held her, talked to her about thoughts, and stopped all play. In retrospect she had already stopped the session. This was night one.
    Night two….again a days worth of naughty talk and getting excited to play, both physically and mentally, we commenced another session. Within minutes she said, “I can’t ” citing physical pain caused a four year old car accident. Though displeased once again. Play ceased and she began crying and apologizing for yet again disappointing me. Acknowledging my own disappointment I left the play area and paced. I was really trying to figure this girls frame of mind out.
    The following day we went out a did some hiking and exploration and simply shared a day enjoying things we both loved including her calling me Sir and being very sexual. On the way home she said it was a day she would never forget and mentioned her state of arousal caused by such a wonderful day. I checked and she was indeed aroused. Upon arriving home we laughed and talked and I took her from behind. The act of a bit of rough intercourse snowballed into what was finally going to be a night of pleasure for the both of us. Both being a bit tired we agreed on light play and sex….Not my norm but something once again agreed upon. I made her cum in short order without even touching her genitals and there was no faking it as the soaked bedding and bodily response was a given.
    After a short chat about her crazy orgasm I very much wanted to see and feel her orgasm again. I derive great pleasure in satisfying my girl even if it is not a night chosen to participate in hard play. I began touching her privates and was highly aroused by her reaction to my touch. AGAIN within a few moments She began crying and muttered simply, ” I can’t “. Highly confused and a bit agitated I asked what the problem was THIS time? More tears and words “I keep disappointing you. Everything I do is wrong. I am not enough for you ” yadda yadda….I looked her in the eye and said “I don’t know what your malfunction is but I am tired of being teased, frustrated and topped from the bottom”……I know no other way to describe this girls actions. Everything that happened was a nightmare and not more than half an hour of light BDSM with a girl whose photos and the tails of her past experiences speak volumes about her experience in BDSM and having painful things done to her from which she derived pleasure and I feel like failed to recognize something hugely important. In the process of hoping to play with a new submissive and my years of experience I say I was topped from the bottom and completely mind fucked…..

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