When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

8 responses to “I Am Not A Dominance Vending Machine”

  1. Xavier

    This is really helpful. Thank you for this post and for all the information you provide!


  2. Xavier

    Rev…. I like that you (plural) have spotted this as a “discussable” area. My sense, not just in my dynamic, but in other D/s dynamics where it is full time or as close to it as circumstances will allow, is that a certain amount of “drift” can occur. Particularly where a submissive likes the relinquishing of control in certain areas, but is not really “slave-heart” oriented naturally. So the vending-machine, service Top drift can happen.

    Our “job” as Dominants is to spot it and decide how much of that is a good recalibration for us and how much is starting to cross a line we need to hold in order to be true to our “mission”…whatever we have defined that to be. I like your examples and probably will incorporate them for the “line crossers”.

  3. Howard Bonder

    Good article!

    Great education and a turn on–all in one!

    Thank you…………

  4. Howard Bonder

    Had to comment again. What great insight. Fascinating world:)))

    Thank you.


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