When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

38 responses to “What Does it Mean to be “Primal”?”

  1. morphus_shadows

    I would like to be friends with you on get same suser name

  2. Joshua

    That is such a great description of what I have felt Primal to be a description of. So glad you have so succinctly put that into words.
    I’ve never experienced it from a BDSM context, but that is what draws me to BDSM and the like :)

    A kind of powerful meditation actually.

  3. Michelle

    Primal is split into two

    1) people who wanna roleplay animals
    2) people who wanna not be fake in any way shape or form

    1- is very simple
    2- is a lot of frustrated people being told its all about pretending to be an animal

    Therefore these people need to have 2 terms so they are not under the same label.

    Removing the mask during sex
    —————————————–
    In sex everyone is fake a large portion of the time…they act out roles or pretend to be turned on or try to keep up a ‘performance’. Primal humans (2s) are about letting go of all this fake behaviour and expressing their truth whatever it may be, whether it be anger, disappointment, excitement, laughter, tears or intense enthusiasm. All the pressure to have orgasms or look good is gone. Its deeply liberating. The true self is revealed & embraced, accepted.
    It takes deep trust to show the truth & open up fully but once you do very unique and powerful energies that were blocked start to flow. You feel incredibly alive and this is very different from sub dom where you are disciplined and controlled.

    Safe primal play for 2s
    ——————————
    Nothing is suppressed so any point a person can say if they are uncomfortable. safe words can be used or a non verbal safe action. For example I stop…….like pausing a movie & my partner knows I want to just think about what has happened before continuing eg if they said sometimes I find you ugly or think your an idiot. I might wanna say that took courage to share now lets chill out.
    Then I might say do you find most women ugly or just me? Or I find you ugly too & now Im gonna orgasm the hell out of your ugly arse Cos its so damn hot

  4. Lady Bloodrose

    Thank you for writing. I love reading about other people’s ideals of what Primal means to them. I too like going to that place where words are not enough.

  5. Christine

    Perfect. I was looking for a definition of Primal, and you satisfied that. So, thank you.

  6. Primality

    My most intense and passionate relationship was two primal beings, together voluntarily, intensely intertwined sexually and physically, without the constraints of intellect and the need to rationalise or explain to ourselves or anyone else. It’s raw, it just is.

    I’ve long described it as two wild animals coming together, journeying together, protecting each other, a danger to each other in theory, and neither is dominant, neither was submissive, and yet we were both, at different moments.

  7. Clandestina

    So, for me Primal is the only BDSM/Kink role that has ever seemed to fit. It was a revelation when I saw the label for the first time. I’m not dominant and I’m surely not submissive- I’m both. The raw physicality of it and of sex in general is what I like. That balance of power, of equality is what draws me and consideration of this element seems to be missing from the article. Meeting your partner on some level through some form of communication and going from there, together- that’s the emotional power behind primal. But sometimes it’s just a thorough, physical fuck-and that’s just fine too.

  8. Tabitha

    Have recently learned of this title and am so trilled. To know their is a community that’s thinks the same way i do. I hoping to meet and get to know others. This is one of the best layout i have found on the net. Thanks

  9. Meanisch

    It’s about winning that pure submissive moment, take it from me, make it yours… I am no sub. I will never be. I will overrule you when you can’t handle me… I will never give up unless I can’t do anything else. It’s about that moment… that moment when one wins and one gives because there is no other option… it’s pure.

  10. Michelle

    To me its about seeing power in the other person. Most of the seductive aspects are power symbols. Money, a fit body, shiny hair bright eyes etc. The power display to me is the confidence in showing passion, plus the level of inspiration require for it to not be acting shows a powerful life force and a powerful love of life. All these are a very alpha display. Its not about being an animal for me. If a man got down on all fours and growled at me drooling I would be impressed by his courage to show me that but not turned on. If he showed me his human fire, and power of emotions, combined with confidence ie not weepy and wimpy…id be on my knees

  11. Brad

    Look , being a primal to me is just getting in tune with your five senses. I love life raw and unfiltered. Start commercializing anything to me and im out.

    Primal on a sexual level is just that. My senses are heighten to a point that I dont need any verbal communication. I loose myself in the tastes, the smells, the sounds of creating that pleasure for my partner. The more i get to use nonverbal senses, the better the sex. That includes anything from pain sensation to the balled up entertwining afterwards. It is all part of that satisfaction i get from being in that zone. Just an opinion here.

  12. Silkenmeowmeow

    I have really enjoyed reading these comments about primal play. I just entered a primal prey relationship and it’s fucking hot. It inspired me to write my very first piece of primal erotica and it can be found on my Fetlife page. My username is Silkenmeowmeow. Check it out and let me know what you think. I am an herbalist as well, so I tied in primal sexiness with herbal nerdiness. Enjoy! -Meow Meow

  13. John

    Thank you for putting an explanation for my feelings. I’m always feeling like an animal or monster as I call it. The need to grab, squeeze, and sink my teeth into her flesh. The transformation is awesome. Sometimes I do d it hard to hide “him” while in public. The scent I smell when around other women drives me crazy. It’s like my senses are heighten and I’m ready to go for what I know with a willing vessel. Awesome read.

  14. Royce

    Well, Im not into the BDS community, but this does fit me. Im naturally more primal anyways. I actually have to be careful when I watch X-Men 3: the Last Stand as, while the movie itself wasnt my favorite one, the scene with Wolverine and Phoenix gettin it on is pretty damn close to what Id like in a woman.

    I just want a feline fatale to be with. haha!

  15. Ro

    I have been told that identifying myself as a primal is not a legitimate kink because there is a part of lots of kinks that is primal.
    I have tried to explain what it means to me and get much of the same response. I have not had another primal to bounce off of in years. I have adapted to the kink community in other ways and this is the main reason that those who have met me in the kink community have begun to question my identity.
    For me, my primal side is very base nature. I have a heightened sense of smell (and in turn taste) than most people and have always incorporated that into my attraction to people and sex. I can smell my lover in a crowd of people. I can pick out the shirt they wore out of a pile of many others. Their kiss and sweat has a distinct taste. This was how my primal blossomed out of me. Then I began a relationship with my former Dom and his Primal side brought out mine in ways that it had never surfaced before.
    Our daily interactions were much less verbal than any relationship I had ever had. We communicated with eye contact, body language and what seemed like a twin mind sometimes. Our play was very animalistic and often didn’t even involve sex.
    For example, we would drive out to a wooded area and I would get a head start. My Dom was color blind. So, he was very good at picking up movement in his black and white view. I would allude, hide, run and try not to get caught. With my sense of smell I could often tell how close he was unless the wind was against me.
    This kind of play is what my primal side craves. The sex was next level but that was just a bonus.

  16. M

    Thank you for this article!

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