When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

37 responses to “What Does it Mean to be “Primal”?”

  1. Sadico Gentile

    The first two chapters sum it up quite well and I can relate to them quite well. When I get primal I really like to bite my prey (play partner) but not all submissives are into that unfortunately. I recall one night when I was playing with a pain slut. She was lying on her stomach on the floor and I was fucking her very deep. I bit into her back and watched as she soaked up the pain and then relaxed into a deep subspace, such a great night.

  2. Stellar Unicorn

    Meow!

  3. CherokeeEve

    I just wanted to say that I really liked your insight. The way you’ve described it makes perfect sense to me.
    I was a bit curious myself regarding how are”primal” is defined. But i suppose know matter how one identifies ones self ultimately it all is a matter of once perception. I consider myself regarding submissive and Im a “little” I enjoy daddy/daughter role play. But Im primal inthe sense that I cannot submit to just anyone. If a man is interested in having me as a playmate and sub then they truly have to be more dominate than myself. Its a instinctive sense and recognition. I can sense when a man is not and is trying to fake their dominance or when one truly is. I am a natural dominate in my everyday vanilla world not quite an A type personality but close enough to be considered acontrolling ocd pitch lol. So in my not so vanillalife I like to hand over those reains and let someone else steer.

  4. meat

    i was at an event where during a big public scene, coyote came out and i found myself howling. A couple amazing things happen. I lost myself, and went deep into subspace, howling when every needle was placed and removed. it started as an “ow” and ended as an “Aaaaaaahuooooo!” The second thing that happened was at a certain point, the whole room started to howl with me. That experience was transforming, since before that i felt a little silly expressing it, and fearful that it would feel forced or looked on with judgement. This was for the greater good though, and by the time i had reached that state, it was no longer about my fears and self.
    i finally learned to allow myself in spaces to freely express in grunts, growls, chanting, tears, and even laughter. It’s good to know that there is a more specific way of identifying, and that i’m not limited to “switch” or “Dom/sub.” It also helped me respect and honor that part of myself which is quite powerful, and has a freeing/healing energy that is palpable to those around. Thank Y/you for explaining this.

  5. Dark Wolf

    This was a great article and gave some very clear definitions on the base meaning of Primal. For myself and so many others I know primal is more than just how we play, it is who we are deep down in our core. More in tune with deeper instincts and have a tendency to listen to feeling and instinct as much as we do logic. For myself as I have said on many other posts my journey of Primal has been very personal and spiritual, it came to accepting that I have as much of an “animal” inside of me as I did a civilized person, and by learning to accept that part of myself i have become the whole being that I was always meant to be. I also believe that everybody has a bit of Primal in them. It goes back to our earliest days on this planet and comes out in our base instincts. The biggest example of this is in our “flight or fight” responses.

  6. Petr0glyph

    This article was really good for me…and as much as i’m resistant to labels, and trappings, how “logical” that a term is here that gets at the heart of the matter!
    I’ve recently reconnected with an old flame after we hadn’t talked for 27 years, she spoke of our first makeout session, under the Moon, and the new somewhat startling feeling inside that other lovers hadn’t given her, closely tied with the biting !
    (Certainly not a necessary part of it for everyone, I suppose, but an important aspect for me.)
    Naming it isn’t a completion, but it does point toward the essential truth.

  7. Msuri

    Pfffffffff

  8. Thormod

    Fantastic article!
    I was wondering what the hell this word on FetLife meant and after this, I immediately switched from Master to Primal. Not that I don’t consider myself a master of course, it’s just that my version of domination of women is based entirely upon the . . . well, PRIMAL feelings that we males have to control and breed females.

    I found your method of easing the woman past her frightened state to be dead-on advise. From the female’s perspective, being trussed up and faced with an aggressive male, especially a big one like myself, must be quite a thing to ride out. I think all subs desire to be taken like that but there is still that survival instinct that asks “am I going to die” to ease through.

    Thanks much for the insight, I will definitely keep an eye out for your articles in the future!

  9. cgsub

    Thank you so much for this article. My Dom and I practice primal play in conjunction with Tantric sexual meditation and it gets pretty wild. I see Primal as not wasting time with the fussy bits of BDSM or vanilla life- who needs complicated implements when our own bodies are capable of so much pain and pleasure? We wrestle a lot and I fight back as hard as I can – I have even been learning some martial arts so I can last longer before He overtakes me. The joy of primal play is the hunt, the struggle, and ultimately feeling the fight leave your body with one hard slap across the face or a firm grip on the throat. Sure we have limits and all, but we have played together so long we don’t need them anymore and that moment of losing the battle and surrendering to Him is just so satisfying. In that moment it truly feels like i have no choice but to give into every desire and that is the best feeling in the world. In that moment I would follow Him to the ends of the earth, do anything to be His good little slut.

  10. Primal Play | Uncollared Pup

    [...] look like a wrestling match to anyone watching, but primal is getting back to raw instinct. Dominantguide said [...]

  11. HoneyL

    Thanks so much for posting this! I am new to the scene and had been wondering what primal meant, especially after a recent playdate when something primal (my inner lynx?) came out as the Dom led me through waves of climax. The only other time that energy has come out has been in ecstatic dance in a community I’ve been with for years and trust implicitly, so I was not expecting her to come out in play with a new partner. Instead of post-coital glow, I was physically wrung out and emotionally wrought for a couple of days afterwards. And yet I felt completely alive.

  12. sensualSerket

    Raw, emotive, soul shaking energy. I am a primal female. Rawr!

  13. Rohm

    Recently, my slave and me have been experiencing more and more of this raw energy in our lovemaking. No matter how rough it may get, it’s still love-making.

    This morning I went into a growling state of wanting, or better said; *needing* to bite and completely overpower. It was at the same time overwhelmingly scary yet satisfying. And hearing her hoarse moaning “yes! more! harder!” made it that much easier to let myself completely go. Of course there is always a small portion of the civilized man in control … otherwise I’d be biting all.the.way.through…

    Thank you for explaining this energy so eloquently.

    - Rohm
    (still catching my breath at the thought of this morning)

  14. morphus_shadows

    What if I told you I go full primal and lose all memory of the peaking moments of the state its like a building emotion and I feel myself melting away layer upon layer until its all gone. My little loves it when I lose it during sex. She has told me that I growl out words in and snarl bite so hard I’ve broken skin. Scratched so hard she bleed and full of pure force.

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