When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

4 responses to “The Leash Goes Both Ways”

  1. subtoJB

    Another great article! Thank you as always for your insight.

    While reading your article I was reminded of something that Sir once said about being a Dominant. He said that it is a *lot* of work, and it’s so true. Many faux-Doms think that being Dominant means being able to boss a submissive around and make her do whatever he wants, whenever he wants…and while this is *technically* true, this is also where the faux-Doms are exposed for being fake. They don’t reciprocate. *True* Dominants understand the enormous responsibility they have undertaken when they enter a relationship with a submissive. There is so much that goes into being a Dom, including monitoring a submissive’s well being and ensuring that rules are being followed. It’s a ton of work! Sir and I both agree that daily 24/7 TPE would be positively exhausting for both of us (though fun in small bite-sized chunks).

    As a submissive, I wanted to chime in and agree that the leash does indeed go both ways…and as a submissive, I’m always aware of the demands that are placed on my Dom so that I can better serve him, and I appreciate that he pays attention to the demands being placed upon me as well. That’s why it pleases me to serve him. And when the Dominant and submissive are aware of the demands placed on one another, it just makes the bond between them grow stronger.


  2. Lynne Davis

    This article is timely for me. I met a Dom last Friday who may possibly be the One. I’ve never felt so comfortable and naturally service oriented for someone before. He feels the same way.Many of our conversations are about going slowly. Thank you again for your insight and writing.

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