When I connected with the BDSM community in 2008, I found so much more than a way to engage my kinks: a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for self- and other-exploration; in other words: intimacy, which may be my biggest kink. With years of mentoring, ministering, coaching, and teaching under my belt, I'm excited to share my ever expanding knowledge and experience with Dominant Guide readers, in a mutual learning process with you and the whole kink community. Rev was the lead author for Dominant Guide from 2012 to 2015

2 responses to “How Bad BDSM Fiction Can be a Good Thing”

  1. SassyBBWSubby

    First, let me state that I am a newbie to the scene though I’ve been on the periphery for about ten years. Second, let me cry out, “I’m a newbie still!” Lol okay, that said, even I recognized that 50 Shades wasn’t a true representation. Sure, there was kink, but though there were elements of D/s, it wasn’t. I was able to read it, get past her sometimes juvenile writing and enjoy what I could. However, though this didn’t affect me adversely, I still know of plenty who sighed and decided to dip their toes in, expecting to find a dreamy, flawed man to drive them wild in bed. They weren’t considering clearly the reality. However, not all fiction has left me untouched. I started exploring my submissive side a year ago, online where I felt safe. As my opening word state, I still feel like a newbie. So when I read another author, Cherise Sinclair, and her various series, I took a giant step backwards. Yes, I know it’s fiction, BUT her uber-Masters made me seriously doubt whether I could move forward. People have rolled their eyes at me “it’s only fiction!” But especially when you’re new, you don’t always know what’s what and these guys scared the beejeezuz out if me nd made me reconsider based on how they treated the subs, how they disregarded limits, told them safe words would just get them booted and expected every sub to take pain. It’s only recently, months later after reading them, that I’m feeling like taking those tentative steps forward. So, good or bad writing, the subject matter can have an adverse effect. I have no issues separating real life from fiction, but, in this case, I’ve even had some women nodding their heads that they have found these types in the scene. So where do you draw the line of reality? What is going to help us not feel the influence?

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